I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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