he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
