Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
