dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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