even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
