Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
