yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
