i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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