either way he was missing a nipple.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
