omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
