i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
