I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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