Its about making memories worth repressing
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
