you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
