I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
