i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
