Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
