I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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