So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
