Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
