I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
