May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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