the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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