Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize