Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize