we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
