At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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