so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
