We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We are all done wearing pants today
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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