dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
