hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
