I wish i was in the wii world.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
