So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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