So drunk its hurt
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
