We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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