she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize