Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
