Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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