Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
