shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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