it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
