You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
