The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
