I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
