I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The Olympian is in my bed
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
