Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
