I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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