so explain again why im purple
no
Soap is not a condiment
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
