My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Pants are for mortals
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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