Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
