I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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