people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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