Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
