I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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