i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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