Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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