pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize