I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
