hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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