he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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