You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
