Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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