You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
