Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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