You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
