11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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