im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
