I bet he comes in French.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we should paint friendship bongs
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